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Darren – UK

March 3, 2012
My name is Darren. I’m 41 and live in East London. The 41 bit is important.
This may look like a lightly cluttered room but to me it represents absolute fear. I have used February 29th, my extra day, to do my VAT return. The very presence of this extra day has saved me from a late fine.
The very fact that I am the sort of person who has to do a VAT return puts me in a priveleged position. I understand that, but listen to this and please try and believe me.
Three years ago I got car jacked by six men who beat me unconscious and left me with a fractured skull. I would rather relive that day then today. Wounds heal and I know and understand how wrong the world is. I don’t like it but I have mechanisms to deal with it. I understand how to get beaten up.
My VAT return is something I only half understand. I lose things. Important things. Excel doesn’t work. I phone people for help. It reverts me to a child. I moan out loud. The dog gets confused. I cry. Really. I have cried over this today. I have punched myself in the face. I am not joking. I am telling you the truth.
There is a logic here somewhere , but it lies out of reach and that brings me to the edge of insanity.
I’m a child and it is this day, which occurs four times a year that makes a child of me.
Three months to the next one.
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